Cheesecake Factory Blows

Today is my friend Holly's birthday. To celebrate her special day, she and I and her parents had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory in Bellevue.

I had eaten at Cheesecake Factory once before a couple of years ago. I don't really remember what I ate, I just know it wasn't cheesecake.

Holly choose to eat there because she thought there would be a lot of variety. And variety was definitely not hard to come by. Their menu had like 20 pages. Not even joking. There were like 30 different kinds of cheesecake alone. It was overwhelming.

I picked something from their "Skinnylicious" menu, under the appetizers section that was labeled "all under 490 calories." If the Skinny Menu is only under 490 calories, I can't even imagine what the calorie count is in the regular menu. Gross. Holly, her mom and I got the same thing: Mexican Chicken lettuce wrap tacos. I also got an order of edamame.

Here is where the lunch got really shitty. First, they took forever to bring the bread out. Unacceptable. They took even longer to bring out our food. They brought out my edamame and the waiter said, "The plate is a little warm." I grabbed the plate and I shit you not it nearly burnt my hand into oblivion. Thanks for the warning, buck-o.

Later, Holly's dad got his dish about 10 minutes before the rest of us. You know, since it takes so long to throw together a chicken lettuce wrap. Oh...almost forgot to mention that the kitchen messed up Holly's order. What's to mess up? Three of us had the same order!

The wraps tasted okay. It's definitely something that I could make at home. After I ate two of my three wraps, Holly's mom discovers that she had a piece of raw chicken in her dish. Awesome! She got her meal replaced with a salad, but that still didn't stop her raw chicken from ruining the rest of our meals. Fingers crossed we don't get E.Coli!!! Thank goodness I had my edamame to fill me up.

The Cheesecake manager came over to apologize (in the most patronizing little kid tone btdubs). Her name was America. Every time she came over, I wanted to sing, "America...F*ck Yeah!!!" Holly's mom convinced America to comp our entire meal, you know, considering the slow service and the lack of cooked chicken. America obliged.

Now that the meal was free, we decided to get cheesecake. 30 different kinds of cheesecake, from pumpkin to key lime to red velvet, and which one does Holly choose? Regular...with strawberries. Okay, whatever. I've never met a cheesecake I didn't like. Thank God I sweated hardcore at Body Pump this morning.

The cheesecake was okay. I could have gotten it from Costco for way cheaper and with a wayyyyy thicker crust. The crust is where it's at, people!

All in all, it was a pretty shit-tastic lunch at the C-Factory. Can't say that I have a strong desire to go back there again...even for cheesecake. Again, that's what Costco is for. Now to have a veggie-filled dinner to round-out the otherwise un-healthy meals I've had today.