Contagion

Last night, my parents and I watched the movie Contagion. I wasn't quite sure at the time whether that was the best idea, but we had nothing else to do.

By the time we finished the movie, I was terrified into thinking that I would never want to step outside my house ever again.

Here's why:

For those who don't know, Contagion is about what happens after a deadly virus sweeps across the world and turns everything into a fricking shit show. Naturally, this death virus originated in China (don't they all?) thanks to some bats and pigs or whatever, then ends up in the body of Gwenyth Paltrow, who ends up killing everyone.

It's a real feel-good movie, that one.

Contagion has now made me so paranoid about spreading deadly infectious diseases that I literally don't want to leave my house, because, what if someone carrying the swine just happens to breathe on my and 48 hours later I'm dead as a door nail.

No thank you!

At the very least I'll be Purelling my hands every chance I get.

And I'm pretty sure I will never take public transportation ever again. Metro buses are a breeding ground for SARS.

I also learned that people touch their face an average of 4-5 times every waking minute, thus making it super simple for these deadly viruses to get into our system. That basically means I'm never touching my face again. Thanks Contagion.

One last thing I learned from Contagion: working for the CDC blows. Especially if you're the one who has to go into disease ground zero and just pray to Tim Tebow that you don't get infected. Ask Kate Winslet's character how that worked out for her. Oh wait, you can't...because she DIED!!!

So thanks Contagion, for scaring the crap out of me so bad that I'm probably going to die alone in my house...and I won't even have cats to keep me company, because who knows what type of diseases they carry around.